How to Be
by himawarixxsandz
Summary: Lesson II DISCONTINUED
1. Lesson I

Lesson One: Twins/Clones/Look Alikes/Same Soul

Our first lesson in How to Be: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is the importance of having a twin, clone, look alike, or an incarnation with your soul only in another dimension. And so, you must first choose whether you'd like to have/be:

**A)** A twin (Go to Number 1)

**B)** A clone/original (Go to Number 2)

**C)** A look alike (Go to Number 3)

**D)** A same soul incarnation (Go to Number 4)

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**1.** If you chose Choice A, then please regard the following instructions favorably for this first Lesson in our How to Be series, TRC edition.

**A)** A twin: Congratulations! You are a twin! Being a twin is both a rewarding and difficult journey. Choosing to be a twin is not all you must do. There is another choice to be made after the first choice. Please circle the following:

**a.)** The Dead/Soon-to-be Dead twin.

**b.)** The Regretting My Twin's Death Because It Was All My Fault Even Though It Wasn't So I Must Fix This No Matter What By Angsting Over It Every Other Chapter At The Least twin.

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**2.** If you chose Choice B, then please regard the following instructions favorably for this first lesson in our How to Be series, TRC edition.

**B)** A clone/original: Congratulations! You are a clone/original! The reason that they are one choice is because, similarly to the twins, you have another choice to make within the first choice. But we trust that you have the courage to do this:

**a.)** The clone who no one knows is a clone, especially not myself because I don't even know clones exist, not even when I become my evil clone-self and try to stab the person (who is also a clone) that I love, before getting killed by my original in an emotionally heart-touching/breaking moment.

**b.)** The clone who know one knows is a clone, especially not myself, at least until I have a dream that tells me I am really a clone, and therefore, I must act like I hate all of my traveling companions except for the ones who are blond vampires/magicians, and then gets stabbed by aforementioned blond companion who is a vampire/magician, only to come back in a "dream" and get stabbed (again) this time by my intended significant other (who is also a clone).

**c.)** The original who has been locked up in a tank like the one you see used in bad 1960s alien movies for eight(?) years, and suddenly busts out and is transported to fight my evil (?) clone.

**d.)** The original who sleeps through the entire storyline because no one knows I even exist, because they all think my clone is me.

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**3.** If you chose Choice C, then please regard the following instructions favorably for this first lesson in our How to Be series, TRC edition.

**C)** A look alike: Congratulations! You are a look alike! We bet you didn't know this interesting piece of fact before, but as a look alike you only have to make one more choice! And it's a spanking easy one:

**a.)** The family member who the main character resembles down to the very last skin cell and died before the storyline begins, but comes back when the Deeply Moving Touching Sad Dark Secret Past is scheduled to be revealed. And then dies again.

**b.)** The main character who resembles the family member and has sworn to avenge his/her family member's death because his/her family member's death was a traumatizing event for the aforementioned main character.

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**4.** If you chose Choice D, then please regard the following instructions favorably for this first lesson in our How to Be series, TRC edition.

**D)** A same soul: Congratulations! You are a same soul! A same soul is a shortened phrase for a character type who possesses the same characterization completely, but resides in another dimension/world/universe and possesses different jobs/statuses/age and so forth. There is no second choice to be made for a same soul.

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_A/N: Tell me if you think this should....be multichaptered, or if it's not funny at all so I should just end here because I suck at this sort of humor and before I hurt myself and fangirls come at me with torches and pitchforks like they always do. And if you actually didn't hate it, tell me what your choices were :D_


	2. Lesson II

Lesson Two: Your Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past

Our next lesson in How to Be: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is on the plot-filled significant of having a Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past. More than likely, your past will have at least five plot points in it, and therefore, it's extremely important as to what your past was, because even though the storyline's theme is supposedly about embracing the future, you have to have a past that scores a minimum average of 10 on the angst, drama, sob story, and ZOMG-really?! scales.

But fear not! We have broken down this tough and seemingly complicated assignment into four easy steps. If you follow them one by one, slow and steady, you'll surely win the race! So let's get going!

**Step One:** Your twin/clone/same soul/look alike must play an important father/mother/brother/sister/lover/friend/guardian figure in your past.

**Step Two:** A conflict must arise—preferably having to do with your existence, a rampant rage of demons in your country, your childhood friend/lover has lost her memories, the entire country hates you and your brother, or your mother is deathly ill.

**Step Three:** Your twin/clone/same soul/look alike or father/mother/brother/sister/lover/friend/guardian must die.

**Step Four:** You must have any of the following:

**A) **An emotional breakdown

**B) **A mental breakdown

**C) **An emotional and mental breakdown that involves holding on to your dead twin brother and not letting go even though you know he's dead

**D) **An emotional, mental, and physical breakdown that involves holding on to your dead father's sword and dead mother and not letting go even though she's dead and there are kind people waiting to help you.

**E) **Keeping relatively composed and holding on to your childhood friend/princess/lover as your country's high priest sends you to the local Dimensional Witch because that's a plot point.

**F) **Sacrifice your time and space and live in an alien tank for the next seven to eight years and watching the activities of your clone through your missing eye.

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Once you've completed those four easy steps, it's now time to choose how you will come about revealing this amazingly Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past that you've conjured all by yourself!

You may either choose to:

**A) **Go to a world where there are magical books that suck you in and have your past knock your traveling companion into tears, then discuss the mechanics of your Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past with him.

**B) **Talk about your Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past seriously and meaningfully with your traveling companions, hoping they'll give you wise and kind advice, even though they aren't really listening.

**C) **Wait until your life and your traveling companions' lives are in mortal danger, before letting your guardian-turned-psycho-enemy-king showing a mental slideshow of your Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past.

**D) **Let the Dimensional Witch explain.

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Phew! That was a lot of work for one lesson, wasn't it? But it was so rewarding! Because now you've got your Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Past that no one can take from you!

_*Note: If you are a magician renegade, or a banished ninja, Sad, Shocking, Deep, Dark, Secretive, Hidden, No-one-can-know, Traumatizing Pasts may be hazardous to your health and a sensitive mental, emotional, physical, and otherwise topic._


End file.
